Dealing With Referrer Spam

Image via CrunchBaseAgain, this blog post might insult the intelligence of people out there who know their way around a command prompt. The rest of you who are lost when it comes to technical affairs, please read on. You're among friends.

Many of my readers are starving writers themselves who are also running author blogs. You may have noticed  a plethora of websites that are supposedly linking to your blog. They clearly aren't, and most of them are sites that contain questionable content. That, ladies and gentlemen, is referrer spam. In the eyes of search engines crawling your blog, those websites have links on your site. This boosts their ranking in that search engine, and a good time is had by all.

Well, all but you, of course. From what I can tell, it won't hurt your blog or its reputation at all. It is merely annoying, and makes it incredibly difficult to see who is actually viewing your blog. Not to mention that, if you're anything like me, you're probably feeling a bit used.

Blogger is famous for referrer spam. This is a well known fact, and while it can be annoying, using Google Analytics instead of trusting Blogger Statistics can fix the problem. When I get a new traffic source that I haven't already identified as just plain old referrer spam, however, I usually click on it to see if it is, in fact, real. Most of the time it turns out to be the same old referrer spam as before, but it's still worth a try...sort of. Today I linked clicked a link that looked legitimate to see if it was referrer spam and saw a message that said something along the lines of, "If you create a premium account with us, you might see your links in our private section, which is probably where they were linked from."

Not really. I paraphrased, so those quotations don't really belong, but it just looks better that way, doesn't it?

I couldn't help but feel insulted. I'm not that stupid; I know you're referrer spam, silly.

If you're getting as tired of referrer spam as I was, it would be a good idea to sign up for a free account with Google Analytics. From what I've noticed so far, it doesn't seem to pick up the referrer spam when it shows your traffic sources, giving you the sites that are actually linking to you and not showing the ones that aren't.

 And if you do click on one of these links in  your traffic sources, for the love of all that is holy, don't sign up for anything to get access to some "special area" of their website where they say they actually are linking to your blog. Believe me when I say that they aren't.

I've also heard talk about some sort of "nofollow" tag thing that might work, and am planning on asking my boyfriend just what it is and whether or not I should use it. Apparently a lot of people hate it, but they seem mostly to be  Black Hats. I'll give you guys a followup on that as soon as I can.



***If you're using Google Analytics and have noticed it actually picking up on and showing the referrer spam, let me know that, too! Oh, and don't be stupid like me and click on the links to the spam site. They'll enjoy the traffic.

Freewriting Prompt: Prompt Writing, Sans Prompt

I haven't done a writing prompt on my blog in a really long time, and I thought I would try one out again. I wanted to make use of Freeblogging, which keeps track of time for you, but I couldn't think of a good fiction prompt that I could honestly keep up for any length of time without stopping for a good while. The result was me doing a promptless stream-of-conciseness writing exercise, just like the first one I ever did.  This is by no means a work of fiction, essay, or anything serious at all. Just me rambling and trying to find whatever stories and blog posts might be lying beneath the mess of seemingly meaningless text.


It's a great thing to do, but I wouldn't recommend anyone else making an ass out of themselves by sticking it up somewhere for everyone to see like I did. 

I decided that, for my first writing prompt in a long while, I would do a completely promptless stream of conciousness exercise. That's right. I don't have a single thing that I'm supposed to be writing about. I'm just letting it all come right out of my head as I type, which is something that you should probably be a little bit worried about. No going abck and erasing the embarassing or horrifying stuff. Nope. Not at all. Here it goes.

I'm watching Family Guy right now. They're making fun of the moon landing or something like that. I don't know becuase I'm only half-way paying attention. I think I heared something about surly blondes. Don't really know how that fits in there, but it's there. Kinda silly if you ask me. Guess it would have made sense in context, but I don't have the context because I wasn't paying attention. Just gonna have to let that one slide, I guess.

HA! Stewie just stole Brian's Peanut Butter Jelly Time thing. HA. That was something that Brian did, not Stewie.

I have no idea what to say now. Oh my God. It's like my mind just went totally blank. Usually when this happens while I'm writing my book, I just put on a song that reminds me of the stuff that's happening in my story and think about it until I finally have stuff to put on the page again. I can't really do that now, seeing as I'm just doing freewriting.

My cousin just came to the door. I bet he thinks I'm pretty weird, sitting here writing on the computer and yet talking to him at the same time like I'm not really thinking about what it is that I'm typing. Oh boy. My family thinks I'm pretty damn weird anyway, though, so I guess it's not a big difference.

Geez, let's talk about how awkwardly that was worded for a moment. Gaw. I can't believe I let that sentence at the end of that paragraph right up there leak out of my head. I'm entirely sorry. Good God.

You know, the first stream of onciousness prompt I ever did required me to not puncuate or capitliaze a single thing. I could n'efve evend end the sentence. And now this thing is freezing up, and I can't see where I'm typing. I bet the typos are absolutely endless. I am sorry. So, so, so sorry.

I want a banana.

Well, looky there. I didn't type for quite some time because my computer froze, and it's still letting me continue writing. I wish I would have known that, otherwise I qwould have actually planned somethign to write here. Instead I think I'm just going to sing a song in my head, but not write the lyrics down. That's difficult. Oh wow, is it ever and called it macaroni....DAMNIT!

Well. There you go.

The Things I've Learned from Twitter and Tumblr (once I stopped being too scared to use them)

Image via Wikipedia

Well, it's really only one thing. This is the internet, and there are all kinds of people here. The good news is that because it's only the internet, we can ignore the less savory characters just by not clicking a 'follow' or 'reply' button.

I know that this doesn't hold much weight coming from a stooge such as myself with just over one hundred followers, but I think it's something that everyone has run into on most social networking sites. You're new to the game, so you follow/add back everyone who follows/adds you. Shortly after, you learn that some of them are horrifically annoying, and begin to dread reading the updates you get. You won't unfollow them for fear of losing them as a follower, but you just can't stand going on the networking site anymore because you associate it with negative emotions and these people in general. Pretty soon you just stop entirely, and all of the efforts you spent trying to promote your book/album/other project seem wasted. It's a vicious circle, and it happens every time. I haven't been turned off of Twitter yet, but I certainly know that following annoying people was what turned me off of Tumblr for months.

Sometimes it seems like it just isn't worth it, doesn't it?

I know it's such an incredibly simple thing, but some people just aren't worth having as followers, especially if they'll ditch you the second you unfollow them. In my opinion, such a person misses the point of Twitter and Tumblr entirely, which is to network. Because networking is the main objective, I'm certainly not against following back. I just believe that if someone is so mean or annoying that they make the entire experience displeasing, you can afford to lose them as a follower by unfollowing them first.

I know seasoned Tweeters and Tumblr addicts have already figured this out on their own, but I'm a beginner here. I'm a little slow, I know. I only made my Twitter account a few months ago, and only actually started using it about two weeks ago. I almost quit entirely because of this one incredibly annoying person who, yes, actually managed to irritate me that much without ever even speaking to me. They were just...that sort of person. You know, the kind who thinks they're the only person who matters in the universe. I'm surprised I only encountered one.

Social networking sites are plagued by this sort of beast, a monster that they themselves created. It's hard for someone not to feel like they're the center of the universe when they log onto a virtual universe where they literally are the center. If you were an impressionable teenager who saw something every day that reminded you of how many people were interested in your life, you would probably become fairly self-centered as well.

The best thing for you to do is break off your ties with these people, a sort of blatant statement of how you are at least one person in the world who isn't interested in their lives. It's sort of funny. Preteens go nuts if that happens, and the best part is that you don't even have to acknowledge it.

The main thing to remember is that it's just socializing on the internet. It's only fun if you let it be fun, and the main way to do that is by surrounding yourself with people you're genuinely interested in hearing from. If you change your mind about these people, feel free to unfollow them. One less follower isn't going to hurt you, but not taking advantage of social networking to market your book and network with other writers and publishers will.

Besides, you can always do what a lot of people do and unfollow all the people you don't want once you get up to a number you feel comfortable with. The ones who don't really care about your tweets/posts are the ones who will leave, and you'll be left with your actual following (and quite a few new friends, as well).

I'm sorry if you kinda felt this post was a bit beneath you...most indie authors are very comfortable with Social Networking and have it all figured out wonderfully, which is a big reason why their books do so well. The rest of us are, like me, a bit nervous about actually making a name for ourselves. Hell, why do you think I use a pen name other than the fact that I have a really stupid first name? I'm scared to death of fame, and I'm shy even on the internet. I would probably hide behind an alias even if I had the most beautiful name in the world.

This is sort of why I created this blog. There must be at the very least a million creatives out there who have shunned Social Networking. I know I definitely did before I decided to go indie and heard constantly that you at least have to have an author blog and a Twitter if you're going to be independent. It's been a great learning experience for me, and it's helped me get comfortable with being more sociable. Anyone out there reading who doesn't at least have a Twitter or author blog, I highly recommend it.

Especially if you've avoided it because you feared being surrounded by intimidating/irritating people (especially the more shy among you), which a lot of people worry is the case with social networking. Remember that you can choose who you network with, and you don't have to associate yourself with jerks if you don't want to. Logging on can even be a therapeutic part of your day, and a great way to unwind while taking a break from writing.

Happy socializing! And I promise, it'll get more comfortable as you go along.

**I suppose I should apologize for how often I've been updating lately. I know it has to seriously annoy feed subscribers. I don't mean to pollute your inbox, friends! D:  God, I hope it doesn't sent out another e-mail every time you edit your blog post. That would really suck. If it just did that to you, please let me know? I'm not good with RSS. Or anything computer related for that matter. 

It's Okay to Write on Break. Pick Up That Pen.

Image via WikipediaEveryone who gives writing advice in this crazy little world seems to have one piece of advice in common: Do it at the same time of day every day, and don't try to squeeze it in whenever you can find time in between the rest of the things populating your schedule.

A gigantic part of me wonders whether or not they live in the real world. Sure, published authors who already have money coming in from their books tend to have large chunks of time to set aside for writing, but what about the rest of us? What about the college student who's working part time at McDonald's and doing homework for their eight classes when they aren't at work? Is it impossible for them to write their novel if they have to do it during oh, say, eight ten minute sessions that they can manage to come up with if they move a thing or two around in their schedule?

There's the classic, "Your novel should be so important that you'll stay up late and lose sleep over it." argument, but what if you have children or a type of day job where you can't afford to lose that sleep? Or worse yet, what if you've already got items populating your schedule that you're losing sleep over?

I really don't have any advice on this other than that you should try to do it anyway, just as I am. Surely all of these writers were completely broke and constantly doing things to make ends meet before their 'big debut novel' that suddenly made them 'so rich' that they could afford to do nothing but write whenever they wanted.

 I don't see why it's not completely possible for you to write a novel using what little time you can find when you can find it. There are going to be days when you'll literally have all day to write, and you can use those to the fullest extent. This is also why it's good to have a word goal instead of a time goal, which I fully advocate one hundred percent. It's easy to waste time, but words are nothing but pure progress.

Also, remember that no time is ever wasted, even if someone accuses you of wasting your time or theirs. Everything is a learning experience. Love it and benefit from it.

Related articles

• Writing Schedules (kristinastanley.net)

Think of it as going on your own personal MapQuest.

It doesn't have to look like this ^^^

Today's post is about one of my favorite parts of the novel writing process: story world mapping.

If there's one thing that most writers of genres outside of fantasy tend to ignore, it's the importance of drawing up a map of your story world. Sure, it's important to form an image of the layout of your world if you literally have an entirely different world, but it's just as useful to draw a little map of all of the normal, everyday settings that show up in your novel.

You know, like a character's bedroom, or the diner where most of the scenes take place...you get the picture. Mapping can actually be a valuable part of your brainstorming process, even if you're a non-otherworldly writer. Just try it out and see whether or not it influences how you picture the scenes in your head and how vividly you write them.

Now, I'm not saying that you have to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. My mountains are, to this day, nothing but triangles, and my trees look like chicken feet. I'm a writer, definitely not an artist. It doesn't matter if your people are stick figures, or if your dragons look like squiggly lines with crudely drawn feet. It's still a perfectly respectable story world outline either way, and you should be pretty damn proud of it if you ask me.

When I was little I did nothing but draw maps of the places I wanted to write about sometime in the future, sometimes having them set up so that to see the whole thing you had to piece several notebook pages together. My mother thought I was insane, especially because I wrote in mostly first person back then. I actually believe that her reaction to finding my writing notebooks is just the reason I have such an aversion to first person writing: she accused me of being schizophrenic and threatened to commit me.

I would suggest carrying your writing notebooks around like they're a treasure box full of gems that everyone would rip away from  you and steal forever if you were to let a single person catch a glimpse of what's inside. Nobody likes to know you're writing something unless you've been published. Once you have, everyone wants to know, and I hear it gets pretty freaking annoying.

Try drawing a map your main character's bedroom. If nothing else, it'll at least be fun. Then, feel free to go map-crazy, even if they're all just simple aerial views.

I Blame the Devil.

Wow. I must be on drugs that are so strong that they cause me to believe I'm not on drugs at all.

I had to get up at five thirty this morning just to write this because the second I remembered it, it started bugging me to no end. I posted about writing longhand the other day, and in my rush to get that post out I realized that I was stupid enough to say that Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote Moby Dick. What. The. Hell.

I was juggling between using Hawthorne and the Scarlet Letter and Melville and Moby Dick for my example. I decide to use Hawthorne, but still clearly had Melville on the brain when I typed out the post. That, and they're both two of my favorite Dark Romantics, the other being Poe, so I often group them together in my head. No amount of proofreading could have prepared me for that screw up. Maybe I'm so incompetent that I actually need people to beta read posts for me.

So to clarify: Nathaniel Hawthorne didn't sit down at his computer to write The Scarlet Letter. He did it longhand I would assume, which is just fine.

On a slightly related note, I can't believe that I didn't discover that I'm a handwriter instead of a typer years ago. I'm actually moving faster in my manuscript than if I would have typed it, and I don't get distracted nearly as easily. If you're having problems, try changing how you're going about it, people!

Ugh. People who have real jobs are on their way to work, and the cars are distracting me as I speak.

Or type.

Thanks for putting up with me!

Thank You!

Invitation

by Shel Silverstien

If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some fla-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
come in!

That poem is one of my absolute favorites, and the one that really made me decide I wanted to be a writer. Yes, I have been dreaming of this since kindergarten. I may have made up a bunch of fake jobs because I was afraid of telling anyone that I really wanted to write, but this has always been it. For some reason that I'll never understand, a parent would rather hear that their daughter dreamed of stripping for a living than becoming a writer. This is a fact. Test it out. I'm posting this today because I believe I am finally - yes, finally! - able to begin drafting my novel. I'm going to go about this fast, which is how I  work best, and then work out every single one of the kinks in the rewrite. By then I'll need some beta readers, but I've seriously got to stop putting the cart before the horse. My goal is 500-1,000 words a day, and so far I think I've clocked in at 406. It's still not enough for me, but I have to be realistic. There's no way anyone can sit down and have half of it done one night and the other half the next, which would fly just fine with me. Plus, it's a good thing to isolate yourself and  your story. No worrying about not getting it done or how your mother probably cries herself to sleep at night because  you're not going to medical school right now, no sir. Sit that story right down in a chair across from you and say, "Okay, shoot. I'm listening." Then write down what is says with your little pen, there. God, I'm crazy. I'd like to conclude this post by thanking each and every one of my readers from the bottom of my heart. This blog wouldn't amount to a pile of dog crap if it weren't for you, and I say that as elegantly as possible. So many writers get caught up in their work and their own words that they forget what they would be if it weren't for the people reading---which is nothing. To this day I am a blogger only because you are reading this post, and I want to thank you so much. Not a lot of blogs manage to make it even this far, and it's all because of you that mine has. So what do you say? Help the blog go a little further? I'm in if you are! :D

Handwriting Novels - Is It "Okay" to Still Do It?

Image by Bright Meadow via Flickr

Of course it is, but not everyone rolls that way. I can almost hear the massive sigh of relief, as I'm sure most of you who work much better with writing on a computer are tired of longhand writers telling you that you're doing it wrong simply because it isn't their way. I've said it once and I'll say it again: Everyone has a different way. Anyone who thinks that there is only one way to write can kindly STFU.

Not to say that there aren't people out there who will throw a tantrum over how they think a computer is the only way to write, too, as if Nathaniel Hawthorne just sat down at his desk and fired up his good 'ol HP Pavilion to write The Scarlet Letter. Like I said in my Unlucky Things about the Internet post, there are insane fanatics and haters for nearly everything. I also remember saying that there really aren't any formulas for writing a good story. It's okay if you haven't let that sink in yet, because I'm certain I'll say it again many, many times.

I'm posting about this because the other day I had a shocking and slightly frustrating revelation: my work comes out much better when it's all handwritten than when I type it up on the computer. The only problem is that it's incredibly slow, and my thoughts move incredibly fast. In hindsight, this just may be why my work hadn't read very well when word processed, but hindsight is, after all, 20/20. I'm happy that I can stop worrying about my terrible, terrible prose now and start to focus on actually getting the story onto the page.

I implore everyone out there who hasn't already to try out both. Heck, I'd suggest even taking a whack at using a typewriter if you can get your hands on one. Write the same scene using a different method every time, and then read back over them to see which one just...you know, sounds and feels better.

The worst that could happen is your finding out that a much slower method, like handwriting, is your best bet.

But what if you discover just that? Perish the thought! Right?

Well, not exactly. It happens more often than you think. You'd be surprised how many writers out there nowadays still actually handwrite the first drafts of their novels, even in an age when computers are, let's face it, much faster (but not necessarily more creative). So what if you discover that this tried and true method is best for you? How do you cope with the hand cramps? The agonizingly slow speed at which the page is filling up?

Well, that's all up to you.

I've thought all of this through since I decided to handwrite my first draft. Today I went out between classes and picked up an enormous notebook, the largest one that I could find at Wal Mart. Yes, Wal Mart. No, it isn't one of these, but I'm perfectly happy with my spiral bound ghetto setup. Besides, the one I bought has eight more pages, so there.

Sometimes going out and buying something new is just what I need to motivate me to do something. I'm just impractical like that, and if you are too, go for it.

I know the thought of writing an entire draft in longhand sounds agonizing, but it really isn't as bad as it seems. I've tried handwriting for the past few days, and actually come to hate typing it up on the computer. Seriously, this blog post has been killing me. I suggest getting a pen that glides very well over the paper and only keep it neat enough for you to read, that way you can get it down as fast as a first draft is normally written. It's just the first draft, after all. Who else but you needs to see it until it's the second draft, anyway? Once you've transferred it to the computer, fixing the little mistakes you see here and there, it may as well be considered ready for a beta reader or two.

And as for the hand cramps that you're bound to get, believe it or not, water may be just what you need. Staying hydrated is given as a fix for nearly everything, though, so I also advocate taking breaks to stretch. Your fingers. I guess...flex them or something.

I know my chances of findindg another teen writer who uses pen and paper are slim to nil, but I've always been forced to deal with my abnormalities in strides. Why should this specific abnormality be any different?

And I Have Decided. *drumroll...notreally*

This is my 50th blog post. How sad.

I believe I have finally decided on a layout that I love. All of the content is still nice and centered, even though the sidebar is on the right side of the page like it was in the previous one. I definitely think it makes for easier reading and isn't very overwhelming at all.

Not to mention that I like Domo. A lot.

I also noticed that I blog nerd culture as well as writing, so it seemed very appropriate.

Well, maybe it's not nerd culture. Maybe it's more like...dork culture. I doubt I'm very nerdy,  because I don't tend to be very smart. I am, however, a proven dork.

I managed to get two practically empty posts up in one day. Impressive. Thankfully, I'm outlining tomorrow's post right now.

Of course, I should be developing character back-stories at the moment. In four days I want to start drafting the novel that I actually haven't talked about in a long time, so I really have to get on the ball. Yeep. If I could hide under the covers and whimper, I could.

Oh wait. I can. Nothing stopping me, there.

But before I go do that, I've taken an interest in creepy and unexplained websites lately, probably after the discovery of Meat Planet. I have no idea why they creep me out so much. Usually, if you have to click through them, I can only manage to make it to a few pages. Here are some.

Superbad  - This website was actually up long before there was ever a Superbad movie, and it doesn't appear to have anything to do with it. Seriously. I discovered this one a long time ago, long before I saw it on creepy websites lists, and didn't find it that scary. Now that I'm a few years older, it bothers me for some reason.

Nobody Here - I can't leave this page open for more than a few seconds. I'm a wimp, and I'm being completely honest with you. It probably doesn't really do anything.

Six Second Sunrise - I got to the second page on this one and got creeped out. For someone who's enjoyed writing horror in the past, I'm a major pansy.

**edit** The Cupcakes Fanfic - not a weird or unexplained website, but definitely...odd. I realize that I linked to it once before without posting a warning. I apologize, and would like to say that those with weak stomachs probably shouldn't read it. Yes. Nobody Here freaked me out, and yet I read the entire Cupcakes Fanfic and actually sort of giggled.

Seriously. This morning, I thought a dust bunny was a centipede and left the shower without rinsing out my conditioner.

New Layout Yet Again? Quite Possibly.

I'm honestly thinking about changing my blog's layout again. I know, this one is beautiful, and frequent layout changes are super annoying, but I just can't get past how all of the content is shoved to the left. If anything in a layout is shoved to any particular side at all, I would prefer it be the right. I can't really explain why, but I assume it has something to do with some new age vibration crap.

My idea of the perfect layout, however, has the content sort of in the middle and two sidebars on each side. Nice and symmetrical, just how I like it. I also don't really like anything being shoved too far to any particular side at all. It sort of has to be there, but not all the way there...you know what I'm saying?

Of course you don't, because only I know what goes on in this crazy head of mine. I suppose that's more of a blessing than it is a curse. Being a writer does mean finding some sort of way to put what's in  your head on the page in a kind of narrative form, so I may have to put a disclaimer in all of my books stating that they just might be incredibly weird.

I've already got plans for an author bio the likes of which no one has ever seen. You have been warned.

I really do think that this layout is pretty, but I don't want to alter the original code in such a way that will break any laws, and I definitely cannot stand the whole 'content squished to one side' thing. Especially if it's the left side.

Before I head on out of here after leaving a nearly useless post (don't worry, tomorrow isn't an off day! I swear I haven't peaked and have a decent post lined up D:), let me give a great big "Thanks" to all of the people who design these free layouts for the CSS-impaired out there such as myself. I know an insane amount of work goes into each one, and it's so amazing that you're willing to do it without compensation from the people using your stuff.

>>...I also don't like that this layout gets rid of Next Blog. I like supporting other bloggers D:

Whelp, off I go in search of a layout tagged with "Fantasy" that isn't Twilight related.

G'day!

13 Unlucky Things I've Learned From the Internet

It would be really cool if I were posting this on Friday the 13th, but I'm not. I'm posting it on Friday the 16th.

Today's post would be about writing, but I'm scared I'll just end up talking so much about myself and my own novel project that no one will want to read me anymore. Personal blogs don't get much traffic, after all, even if they are author blogs. I'm trying to offer more for readers and such, because to be honest, who gives a crap about how close I am to finishing my  novel? I mean, sure...if I were famous and everyone were on edge for the latest installment of my epic adventure, but that's not the case. I'm a broke college student trying desperately to just let people know I exist before I throw my hat into the ring.

So without further ado, my latest attempt at entertaining people:

1. Everyone one Facebook seriously thinks that 'probably' is spelled 'prolly'. This also holds true for 'think' and 'thank' if  you live in the Southern United States. Yes, I know of people who actually believe that 'think' is spelled t-h-a-n-k. 
2. Everyone on Twitter is a porn star, without exception. Even the people you know personally and very well. *nod*
3. Each and every item, person, place, thing, or even verb has a group of insane fanatics.
4. Each and every item, person, place, thing, group, or even verb has a group of insane haters that seem to think of new reasons why the aforementioned thing must be banned from the universe on a daily basis.
5. Say a picture, video, or block of text seems incredibly weird and hard to understand. Chances are, it's supposed to fulfill specific needs.
6. It is impossible to tell when someone is trolling and when they are seriously stupid.
7. So you think you've found the weirdest thing you've ever seen. Don't forget to think again. WARNING: The sound on my computer was off when I looked at this website, so I have no idea if there's some loud freaky sound. I honestly have no idea what the hell this site is trying to do. Try and see how long you can click through before that weird feeling growing in your spine makes you close out the tab. I'm not saying that Meat Planet is the weirdest thing on the Internet; I'm just not in the mood to ruin peoples' lives with the things I could link. Plus, I've repressed most of them.
8. No matter how wonderful something is, there is at least one person out there who will attempt to make a logical argument on why it is terrible.
9. No matter how terrible something is, there is a legitimate group of people out there who will argue with you that it is/was wonderful. I had a link there, but I'm worried people will begin to think I support neo-nazism. I don't, by the way.
10. Do a text search on something before you do an image search, for the love of God. It'll also help to have a parental control filter on.
11. If someone tells you not to Google something, don't.
12. If someone tells you to Google something, don't. 
13. If you actually conduct a search for the aforementioned thing and find yourself actually amused instead of disgusted, you have won the Internet. Or you're a sick individual. It depends completely on what you were told to Google.

Now get on out into the world wide web and try not to lose your mind.

I'll Just Leave This Here

11 Types of Bad Writing Advice

Believe me, I've heard all of these and continue to hear them to this day. Pick up any self help writing book and you'll see nothing but around two hundred pages of this crap. Just a quick reminder:

There are no laws to writing.

Just because Bill H. Authorguy (sue me for the corny joke later) has written seven hundred bestselling books doesn't mean that you'll only be a successful writer if you mimic him.

Writing is fun. Some people love to make it look like it's brain surgery, because they don't feel important enough if they're doing something they enjoy. Work should be hard. Tough. Grr. Manly. That's a load of bull, however, and you'll never finish a manuscript if you feel like working on it is some form of punishment. While they are challenges, they are worthwhile challenges that you should enjoy undertaking.

If Mr. ITeachWriting hates romance novels, he'll shoot down anything of that nature that you show him. It doesn't mean it's bad, he just hasn't learned to be unbiased.

You're supposed to explore, have fun, and learn things about yourself.

Making a mistake or trying something that doesn't work is not an indication of whether or not you'll make it as a writer. This has happened to everyone, even the person writing that hoity-toity self help book, and it is part of the process. I usually have at least three different versions of a scene floating around before I find one that works when I try it out.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, some people just should not give advice. Most of these people are writers. Not all writers, of course, but the more pompous types. You'll know them when you see them.

Last but not least, remember that we writers are sometimes the most stubborn people you'll ever encounter. Many seasoned professionals make it painfully obvious that they believe their own way of going about their story to be the only way of going about ANY story. I've tried all of the advice I've ever been given, and can honestly say that no one thing worked perfectly for me. You basically have to take little bits and pieces of what works until you shape your own unique process. It's like a fingerprint, and not the same for everyone by any means. Try something that just doesn't feel right, and you'll end up with a story as awkward as that analogy.


I think I'll also leave this here, seeing as most of the people looking at my blog have author blogs, themselves. I found it beyond useful. I posted it on Twitter earlier, along with the realization that most of the people coming to my blog from a search engine are looking for Pinkie Pie. Sometimes Google Analytics will surprise you. 

Nothing Writing Related Here --- Just Pinkie Pie.

Looking through Analytics at all of the search keywords used to find my blog tells me that if I hadn't spoken of my love for Pinkie Pie, I wouldn't have gotten half of hits I ended up getting through search traffic.

This tells me that the Internet wants more Pinkie Pie.

That  is very good news. Pinkie Pie is like a wonderful, wonderful drug.

This is my favorite video involving Pinkie Pie:



The second that I heard Hank Hill's voice unexpectedly scream, "Oh my God, it's so juicy!" I lost it.

Ah...why do I always get the sort of joke than only a certain type of person would find funny?

Because, sirs, I am one of a kind. And that might not necessarily be a good thing.

My boyfriend wants to make a video of Hank Hill reacting to Spongebob and Patrick singing that song about Texas being dumb. I think he should, regardless of whether or not anyone but the two of us understand what's going on.

I was Spongebob for Halloween when I was eight. Good times, good times.

Frost: Revisted

 Image via Wikipedia

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near.

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and down flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

If you're like me, you've read The Road Less Traveled at least a hundred times a year between first grade and graduation, and are so sick of being introducted to it as if you've never read it before that you didn't want to hear the name, 'Robert Frost' again. After I read some of his other poems, I was disappointed in myself for not having read more of Frost. I was just so incredibly sick of that one poem by graduation, because everyone in grade school seems convinced that Robert Frost never wrote a single thing before or after The Road Less Traveled. 

Of course, I'm not saying that The Road Less Traveled isn't a wonderful poem---it is, and it's a sad thing that it's been picked apart so much in a school setting that most people don't even batt an eyelash when reading it nowadays. Archibald MacLeish would swoon. But I would like to give Frost a sort of revival in the eyes of young readers.

Some amazing Robert Frost poems that aren't The Road Less Traveled.

Acquainted With the Night

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Design

And here's a link to pretty much everything.

I still have to say that my favorite of his poems is Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. I can't really put my finger on why. 

Off-Days Are For Rambling

-In Soviet Russia, story tells you.

    Looking over my old novel excerpts depresses me. I'm outlining (for real this time--yay!) those parts of the story right now, because they're the only ones that really stayed the same when I completely revamped the plot. This new story really is a 'new story'...the characters are the only aspect of it that hasn't changed, and even they've gotten more developed. Everything is different, even my style of outlining. I think all of the detail that I've been told was absolutely necessary in the outlines was actually killing my story. Not only is every process different, but every story as well. I don't think you can combine a trans-universal fantasy with anything that's supposed to make logical sense at all. You have to keep spaces open and ties loose, or you'll strangle your story to death. It's like squeezing a bird and saying, "No! You can't fly away because it's illogical! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!" knowing perfectly well that birds can fly even though most things can't.

In other words, the more things you make certain and set in stone before you start to write, the more your story is going to resist you. I definitely advocate a more paragraph-like summary type of outline now in place of the rigid, hyper-detailed one that I was using.  It has to be fluid, like a living organism. Don't tell your story, let the story tell you.

To an extent...

...oh man, I totally just broke the floodgates and let myself remember every single Soviet Russia joke I've ever heard.

I know there wasn't much to today's post, other than an admittance of the fact that the writing was extremely stilted in any and all of the excerpts that I've posted. At the time I was reading a book that went about everything in the wrong way, you see, and was too scared of never finishing a novel to realize that you shouldn't believe everything you read. If it feels like it isn't working, then for the love of all that his holy try something else before it makes you go crazy. Chances are it works for someone else, not for you. A good story cannot be formulated.

In addition to me rambling about my mistakes in hopes that I can save someone else from making them, I'd like to say that I believe I'll be sticking with Creawriter as my main DFW software. I'm getting absolutely giddy with the background feature. I have a different one picked out for every scene. What can I say? Pictures have always been just the thing to put me in the mood. 

New Layout

The title of this post just may be as boring as the content itself. Today's an off day for posting, but I thought I would like to mention that I added a new layout.

Yeah, I know. It goes without saying.

Got it from this nice little website called btemplates.com.

It was a little tricky to work with at first, but I'm in love with the silhouette-on-sparkly-background photo manipulation trend. Yeah, I know it probably has a better name, but I can't think of it at the moment. Anywho, I've been plagued by ghost connections all day and may as well not even be connected to the internet. Apparently my service provider is just terrible, so there's nothing I can do about it at the moment. Yarg.

Bye, all!

Good lord, that was cheesy.

It's not like the old days when you could afford to be a recluse.

I'm going to level with you here. I have both ADD and Noise Anxiety, which makes writing anything at all extremely hard if I'm not in just the right environment. Any little noise from the outside world--someone coughing, shuffling around, the TV in the next room at a distance, voices chattering--can totally set me off and wipe my mind completely clean. I'm serious. It's like every little noise is a moist towelette, and my novel is a mustard stain. But not a bad one. One that I want to keep. For some reason. Sorry, I'm not in my 'environment' right now.

I'm also bothered by motions as well, which is why I absolutely have to be alone when I'm writing anything. That, or near a person who's extremely talented at sitting perfectly still. A Buddhist monk mid meditation, if you will. People stomping through the house even tends to keep me from working. The second anything comes into my mind that isn't one hundred percent related to the task at hand, it might as well be gone for good. Imagine how much I hated using Microsoft Word when that stupid little paperclip was still there. People who didn't even have any problems with concentrating hated it.

I'm beginning to think that writers just don't have these problems. That, or that they all live alone. Every single writer who ever talks about their process seems to be living completely by themselves in a little cabin on another planet. I'm waiting to see if there are any real people out there who have to lay their heads down on their desks until their mother stops screaming about who won on America's Got Talent.

If any of you happen to be reading this post, I have a bit of a solution. By 'bit of a solution', I mean that it sometimes helps me, but not always. Listening to music, for example, can't do a thing to stop my brain from emptying itself out ever time the entire house vibrates from someone stomping through it. For all of your auditory and visual distractions, however, I believe I have found what may be a step toward a solution.

Music.
I've actually offended quite a few other writers by saying that I listen to music while I write. You just...just can't do that! Oh my God! How do you concentrate?

Well, how do you concentrate with a screaming baby in the background?

Forget I said that. Before you get lost in the world of your headphones, you should probably make sure that Little Timmy hasn't stuck his finger in a light socket.

But I digress...sometimes it's your choice of music that works best. I have an entire writing playlist composed (see what I did there?) of nothing but songs that make me zone out, i.e., I hear the music but am not really paying attention to it. If it's a song I really like or one that's too catchy, I'll find myself focusing on the words or tune and zoning out from the writing. The real goal here is to make sure that you sort of zone out of the music and let it play in the background of your mind, letting the words that you're writing come to the forefront. Slower songs usually work best, as well as songs you could imagine playing while you talk with a friend. Anything that can drown out noise, but at he same time take a backseat to your thoughts. For some reason songs with lower pitches work best for me than higher ones. It's also a good idea to throw in a few songs that remind you of your story in case you're running out of things to say and need to mull over the idea that you first had when you started to write. I also like to make my "Story Soundtrack" into a playlist for when I go on walks by myself. It's pretty much the only way I can brainstorm.

Distraction Free Writing
Hear me out on this. I thought it was only for programmers at first. Not to mention, of course, that it's not exactly aesthetically pleasing. That is, of course, the goal. Felt sort of 'derp' after that one.

DFW programs provide a very basic interface for writing. I didn't think I needed one until I tried one out. I was amazed at how things as minuscule as the task bar and the temptation to check Facebook were hindering me.

Creawriter is one of my favorites. You can choose whatever background image you want, and the ambient sound is a great addition. For some people (myself included), the noise and image gets to be too much sometimes. In that case I would recommend  Dark Room or Writemonkey.

Novel Ramblings

They say the number one rule for writing your first novel is not to tell anyone you're writing it and keep it your little secret.

Whelp, blew that one already.

I'm dying to put up some stuff from my story, but at the moment it's nothing but poorly punctuated pre-writing before I begin the first draft. I literally have around 30,000 words of nothing but free writing trying to form my story world and develop the characters. If this thing were a novella it would be long enough for publication already. I'm obsessed. Good thing I didn't sign up for this to be normal.

Anyone ever seen a first draft? Most of them look like they were written by a kinder-gardener.

If they're mine, they're cringe-worthy. I've heard and found it true that you're supposed to just write and iron it all out in the rewrite, which means that going back over it to stomp out typos may be counterproductive. Second guessing yourself is for technical writers. Let your story be alive. I don't want anybody to think that I'm just blowing smoke here, so I'm going to try and get at least something up soon.

I'm beginning to worry that an anthropomorphic dragon wizard might be too crazy of a character for comfort, even though I believe the fantasy genre is in dire need of some spicing up. Translation: there are so many Lord of the Rings clones floating around out there that the literary world just may drown in them.

I also know that a main character who goes insane by the end of the story isn't a new idea, either, but the one thing that sort of makes mine different could be just causes it to be a controversial story. My intent was to follow a child's descent into madness. While I have plenty of other crazy people in my story, I wanted Muriel's transformation into one of these crazy people to be particularly unsettling. People just cringe at the thought of anything unsettling involving children, even though thirteen isn't exactly a childish age. The problem, I guess you could say, is that most people assume it's a much more childish age than it really is. At thirteen you know a lot more than people give you credit for.

I'm also trying to make it look like her 'descent' into adulthood accompanied her descent into madness to the point that some people might take it to mean that I believe it's wrong to grow up.

Nah, not wrong...just impractical :P

The Suicide of Dorothy Hale

Frida Kahlo was asked by a close friend of the subject to paint a beautiful and grand painting in tribute of actress Dorothy Hale, who committed suicide by jumping out of the window of a tall building.

Frida painted this:

Image via Wikipedia

I'm a bit ashamed to say that I laughed. Ah, Frida, you were so messed up, and that's why you've always been my favorite.

My Stump is Blue. Beat That.

There are a lot of elements to a book cover, but I took this picture of a stump behind my house and decided this would be among them when it comes to mine. I screwed around in GIMP, got this, and saved it before I played around enough to mess it up. I have no idea, but this image makes me think of my story. Maybe it's the rainbow trees?

Yeah. No clue.

Right now I can give one solid tip to all of you indies out there who are biting your nails and pouring yourself over that manuscript while surrounded by a screaming family (you know who you are): Try not to think about the fact that this is your first novel, meaning that you have absolutely no money to sink into an editor for the aforementioned manuscript.

I totally just made some of you worry about something you weren't even thinking about until now, didn't I?

This is all that I can think of, and it's making me as nervous as humanly possible. Even if I were the best editor in the world, there are bound to be things I would miss if I read the thing over a million times. I'm working from the ground up (meaning I'm broke and the only money I've gotten from writing so far has been fifty dollars from winning the first paying contest I was old enough to enter a few weeks ago).

Let's just say I spent it all on candy. Ah, screw the ambiguity....I spent it all on candy, Nestle's Crunch Bars mostly.

I could always find a few older, wiser, published writer friends who have the time to edit it for me. That's pretty much what everyone is telling me, but I don't exactly have a gang of authors following me around. What, do writers like, hang out in packs or something? Geez, no wonder most of us have a superiority complex. Talk to some READERS for once. You'll be surprised at what you'll learn.

But enough about how much the "writer personality" tends to tick me off. Finding someone to edit a manuscript  for little or free is hard because manuscripts are pretty dang long, and most people have lives. This is the main reason a lot of seasoned writers are against going indie, but I just can't stand the thought of knocking on a publisher's door. Most people are competent enough to know what good reads are. They don't need you deciding what books they can even get the chance of seeing.

I would much rather have people who do a lot of reading check out the manuscript first, so I'm actually looking through my e-mail contacts and abandoned Facebook pages for literature buff friends. I recommend this to anyone out there who can't afford professional editing services yet because writers tend to have that good 'ol superiority complex, and the readers are the ones who are actually going to be buying your book. If they see something they wouldn't pay for, they'll tell you if they're honest enough.

It would also be a good idea to agree to trade manuscripts with one of your writer friends once you both finish.

And now I need to go dig up some of my old writer friends. I haven't talked to most of the people I knew last year in just about that amount of time because people my age tend to annoy me. I'm more fond of either the younger or older than me variety of person.

I Have Become One With the Beast

I thought I would mention on all of my various and often ignored social networking sites (this blog excluded since I actually pay attention to it) that I've started a Twitter account. Nearly everyone in the universe has been telling me that if there's one thing an indie author should have, it's a Twitter account.

Oh, and by created, I mean that I resurrected the one that I made for my pen name about a year ago before I abandoned it after creating just one tweet about how I can't believe I actually made a Twitter account.

I found a few friends and realized that they had more followers than we all know in real life put together, so I thought I would actually post that I at least had a Twitter at as many places across the internet as I could find without spamming.

Oh, and this post took an extremely long time because my baby brother has discovered how to press the keys.

He says, "alskdfjalsdkfjawe vasdkfjalsd asdfasdfc " to all of you.

Never Get too Attached to the Magic Man

Image via Wikipedia

 While my sporadicly available internet connection insists upon making maintaining a blog extremely difficult, I have found myself able to actually make a post.

I don't know how long this is going to last, so I'll try to make it quick. Today's post, or at least the first half of it, is about one of my uncountable favorite poems. It is by the sometimes adorable (but always only in my opinion) James Henry Leigh Hunt.

Jenny Kissed Me

by James Henry Leigh Hunt

Jenny kissed me when we met,

Jumping up from the chair she sat in.

Time, you thief, who love to get

Sweets into your list, put that in.

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad;

Say that health and wealth have missed me;

Say I'm growing old, but add--

Jenny kissed me!

This poem in itself is adorable. It was a welcome change after pouring myself over The Wasteland.

And just to make sure that some random poem I enjoy that no one else might isn't the only thing on the blog today, I would like to bring to your attention my latest revelation---the wizard always dies.

I'm writing a fantasy, and it's so tempting to kill the wizard just because it's been imprinted into my brain that he always dies. Think about every single fantasy novel you've ever read that had a wise old wizard in it.

Did he die?

Thought so.

I'm trying to be original here, but it just feels like a fantasy series isn't complete without a dead wizard main character. I suppose it happens so often because it adds to the story's dilemma. Not only did the plot thicken, but now the younger, inexperienced, and often magically challenged other main characters are left all alone to deal with it. Now they're forced to grow up and learn to do things for themselves. The agony!

It does add drama, but I know how frustrating it is to feel like you're basically reading the same story with different authors and characters. I don't want to subject anyone to that just as much as I want to provide a valuable story that people will enjoy.

But if I do kill the wizard, I don't think I can resist the temptation to make his last words, “There is another Skywalker.”

George Lucas would take everything I own and more, however, so I more than likely won't. Also, I've noticed that the past two blog post pictures were of the same thing.

So I put up a puppy.