I'm in Love With My Kindle.

This is not news.

*prepares for deluge of angry hipsters yelling that real writers don't kill the printed word*

It has caused me to read a whole slew of new books that I otherwise would have never picked up. They're cheaper, and I can read new writers who haven't been published yet.

Of course, that also means running into hundreds of first person stories about an eleven year old girl with a vocabulary straight out of a Thesaurus who has abilities that only Jesus, Satan, and Bill Clinton combined should have. Oh, and guess what? Everyone HATES her for these abilities! They also constantly tell her she is wrong, only to find out that she was right and get screwed over.

GAH!

Am I the only completely annoyed by this? I can't be the only one who's put down a book the second the ditzy, cheerleader type main character uses a word like "microorganism" in narration. First person is, in my opinion, supposed to reflect a character's train of thought.

I know that everyone out there wants that super special awesome character who can burn down entire cities with a single glare, but said character completely turns most readers off if they can't relate to him/her. Characters should be human, too. People want to read about people. Nobody wants to read a story about someone the author obviously wants them to envy.

Not that having magical powers isn't good...it's just that nowadays they're more of a Deus Ex Machina than anything else. How is Mary Jane going to change as a character by getting out of the aforementioned situation?

Well, she isn't! Because her magical powers that make her more awesome and smarter than everyone else in the universe enable her to just poof right out of that concrete room seven miles underground.

I'm more of a fan of average characters who become less average as a result of being put in out of the ordinary situations, like Alice going down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. But then again, apparently I'm often guilty of neglecting my characters. In fact, according to a Mary Sue Test I took, my characters are anything but.

I scored a negative seven.

Maybe I should throw them a bone or two to keep things interesting. I don't know...a little magical animal friend or some crap.