Girls Write, Too

I'll never understand why it's so hard for readers out there to believe that a chick can write a kick-ass story that isn't pumped full of abs and estrogen.

Of course, considering what they've got to go on, I don't really blame them.

Everyone's heard the classic spiel saying that female writers who don't write erotica and romance should use a unisex, or even male, pen name. If they don't, their sales will suffer, because most readers out there will see the female name and immediately judge it to be in contrast with the genre of the book. Just once, I dare some writer of beautiful, passionate erotica to use a pen name like "Paul Schmidt", or "Al Gutman."

Nothing is worse, however, than the pen name that sounds like it came straight out of either the 60s or Lord of the Rings. No one is going to believe that your name is Rain Firestorm. Move on to the next name on your list, unless it's Crystalline Promise.

I won't deny that I've always wanted to publish at least one erotica under the psuedonym, "Jane Doe."

I don't know why. I can't write erotica--it's just that it would be pure awesome, just as awesome as I. M. Hornay. 

Tips for Writers Using (or Choosing) Pen Names

Image via WikipediaYes, it's another list. I tried typing this out in paragraph form, but it just wasn't aesthetically pleasing. Nobody likes walls of text, right? I mean...some people do, but they always put me to sleep.

I have a bit of a confession: I hate using a pen name. If I didn't have an incredibly hard name to pronounce and spell, I wouldn't. It's just so...odd. I feel like I'm lying or playing pretend. Quite a few writers use them by choice, however. Even more desire to do so, but can't quite find the name that's right for them. Here's what I've learned in my tedious search to find the right (or at the very least, most acceptable) name with which to sign all of their creative works.

1. Don't be a ham.   I cannot stress this enough. I even think of "Harlow Clark" as too showy, but quite a few people out there want to write with names like "Rain" or "Stardust". I seriously wanted to go with Jane Doe just for giggles, but I figured that it would seem hammy to people even though I was going for the opposite of hammy.
2. Make it genre specific...if you want.    Sometimes it may be helpful to choose a sort of...edgy?...name if you're a horror writer, or a beautiful and romantic sort of name for a romance novel. It may just help make the novel! What would A Series of Unfortunate Events be without Lemony Snicket? The series just wouldn't have the same sort of magic to it if it were written by "Daniel Handler". And what on Earth would people think of steamy erotica written by a Howard O'Brien instead of Anne Rice?
3. Make sure it rolls off the tongue.   A name that has a nice ring to it is also likely to be remembered. I've also heard it mentioned that a two syllable first name and a one syllable last name is a good choice, though no one can really tell you why. 
4. Unisex is always a good choice.    Especially if you're female and write science fiction, crime, or horror novels. It isn't fair, but it's a known fact that people are far more likely to pick up a book of such a genre that was written by a man. If a name is unisex, people are also more likely to assume the author is a man than a woman. I've found myself guilty of this from time to time, as well. You'd be surprised how writers turn out to be women once you look them up! Methinks the tables may be turning. *wink**wink*
5. You can always just use your initials.    If you have a name like Svietgein Horwinkle Zvet Henderson, you can bet it will be easier to sell your books if you write them as S. H. Z. Henderson, or any combination of the first three. It saves a lot of trouble choosing a pen name, and if people find it hard to say the initials, well, they can always just get over it and call you by your last name.

On a totally unrelated matter, I found a random folder on my computer titled, "Japanese Horror Files". I opened it up and found a bunch of images of my friends and people I barely know that I don't remember saving, plus a few weird extremely blurry images and some random anime sprites. There were even some stills from South Park in there. I find this incredibly odd because I'm the only one using this computer. I'm running Linux, so I don't think there's a chance some kind of virus put it there. Spooky, eh?